Number Five is Kindness

 

The fifth fruit named in the fruit of the Spirit in the King James Version of Galatians 5:22 is gentleness. However, many other translations including the New King James Version, the New Living Translation, the New International Version, and the Amplified Bible all use the word “kindness” in this position. We know that God Himself is kind.

 

Psalm 117:2 For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever.

 

Joel 2:13 “…Return to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm.”

 

Titus 3:4-5 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared,  not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us.”

 

Kind Words

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, considerate, warm, and sympathetic. One of the basic ways to show kindness is through kind words. We were taught as young children to say please and thank-you. We can further show kindness with our words by saying encouraging words, expressing words of sympathy for those who suffer loss, and by using our words to give compliments. (This is not to be confused with flattery, which is usually given from a self-serving motive). God gave us the gift of speech and we can use our words to bless others. The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 is said to speak with kindness:

 

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

 

Kindness in Forgiving

Another way to show kindness is to forgive. The very first fruit of the Spirit is love. In 1 Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter, we see that kindness is a quality of love.

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love suffers long and is kind…”

To suffer long is to accept that people are sometimes rude and inconsiderate and we are to take their bad behavior towards us and respond to it with kindness. This isn’t always easy to do but the Bible says we are to forgive. When Jesus taught the disciples to pray in Matthew 6, He actually made forgiving people a direct condition for us to receive forgiveness from God.

 

Matthew 6: 14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

Luke 17: 3-5 “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him. And the apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith.’”

 

After hearing that they might have to forgive the same person seven times in one day, the disciples’ response was, “Increase our faith.” They knew that having a forgiving heart was something that would take an increase in faith in God. Only God could give us the strength to become forgivers.

 

Ephesians 4:32 “and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

 

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God…”

 

Kind Thoughts

Perhaps our problem is not actually holding something against someone; perhaps it’s just being ungenerous with our thoughts towards them. Every once in a while, I’ll hear someone say something, and think, “She’s only saying that because…” Sometimes we have ungenerous thoughts toward our own pastor, thinking, “Oh, he only said that because he was mad because…” Why are we so suspicious of each other? What would we lose if we just gave people the benefit of the doubt?

 

The Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that “(love)…thinks no evil.” Another translation says “keeps no accounts of evil.” Verse 7 goes further, saying, “(love) “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The Message Translation says “always looks for the best.”

 The Bible says that the measure that we use to judge someone is the same measure by which we will be judged. In a verse that I always thought had to do with giving and receiving money, my pastor pointed out that this verse actually has to do with how we regard each other.

 

Luke 6:37-38 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

 

Being Patient with Others Shows Kindness

We also show kindness when we show patience. I want my grown daughters and my grandchildren to do certain things, and often say things like, “Well how come you didn’t call the company? Five days later I might say, “Did you call the company yet? How come you didn’t just call?” When I hear myself doing this, I know that even though I’m looking for them to receive any advantage due them, I am acting in a way of control. I read someplace lately that we have to set people free. Of course we wouldn’t our children to hurt themselves or commit any crimes, but we have to learn that when it comes to their lives, we have to set them free. Good advice can be given. When it becomes annoying, we have to stop. Being patient, letting our adult children make their own decisions, is a way of showing kindness.

We also show kindness when we respect people’s opinions. My son-in-law and I had a huge debate at the end of my recent visit to my daughter’s house. This debate, and the intensity of emotion it brought about, left a mar on my visit. I see that I was not acting in kindness. Sometimes we’re so certain that we’re right about something and the other person is wrong, we forget that we’re suppose to reflect the spirit of Christ. This is true especially as we try to witness to people about salvation. If we come off like a big know-it- all, people are just not interested. We have to witness in love, and if we feel like we are crossing the line into debate, we have to be able to graciously end the conversation on a good note.

We also have the opportunity to show kindness in our daily lives as we interact with the public.  I worked in customer service for over twenty years. It always seemed that the people who were the most impatient while waiting in line were people who said they were Christians. I do know that as Christians, we aren’t going to perfectly portray Christ every day of our lives; however, it is a poor witness to sigh aloud and say mean things about the clerks while we’re in line waiting for a service. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Any time we have a chance to let our lights shine, we should. Hold the door for someone, smile at someone, at the very least, don’t scowl.

 

Kindness in Giving

We’ve been discussing “giving” all along. Showing kindness means giving: giving the benefit of the doubt, giving courtesy, giving encouragement, giving a smile or a friendly gesture. But there is another kind of giving: giving time and giving money. In all honesty, we have a problem with giving. We don’t want to give to a homeless person begging on the street because we think they might be a con-artist. We don’t want to give to charities because we think that the charity itself is not run efficiently. (My favorite: Why don’t they get money from the rich people?)  We don’t want to give at church, asking each other, “What are they doing with all that money?” Churches won’t give to charities because trustee boards feel that the church is barely staying afloat itself, so how can we give to others?

 All through the Bible we are told to give to the poor. We’re told to share. I see that I need to pray and ask God to make me a “cheerful giver” as described in 2 Corinthians 9:7. I see that the hesitation to give is completely wrapped up in fear: the fear that I won’t have enough for myself, the fear that other people aren’t giving and that would make me a “sucker” if I gave, fear that I am being taken advantage of, fear that churches and charities aren’t using my gifts wisely, and most of all, the fear that I’ve lost all my autonomy and am have become a “religious nut.”

 Jesus said, in Matthew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I want my heart to be with Him, not with my wallet. In the book of Acts, the early church pooled their resources and made sure that no one went without.

Acts 4:34-35 “Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles’ feet and they distributed to each as anyone had need.”

Imagine if we had this kind of love among us, to make sure that no one went without. Imagine what we could do for our church bodies, our neighborhoods, and even for international charities. I hate to admit it, but I can’t whole-heartedly say that we’re reflecting the fruit of kindness if we’re not giving.

 The good news is that we can become cheerful givers, and once we do, God will make all grace abound to us and we will have all sufficiency in all things for ourselves and plenty left over so that we can continue to give.  The source of encouragement comes again from 2 Corinthians 9:7-8:

“So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.”